I had another blog post in mind for this week. I even got half-way through it. But when I went to finish it, it wasn’t there. So . . . I’m starting from scratch. This one is short and came to me as I was washing dishes with our teenagers tonight.

If you haven’t realized already, I’m not that mom that does everything for her kids. I’m forever grateful to Julie Richard at Fearless Mom for telling us years ago that “anything your kids can do, stop doing”. I’m sure it was in more eloquent words than that, but those are the words that I hear in my brain almost weekly. If my kids are capable, then why am I doing it?

So, on that note, here are 5 things your kids (as soon as they start walking) are capable of doing that you can (if you so choose) stop doing for them. This small act of surrender will be hard, but it will be worth it. Will they do the job like you? No. But that’s okay. You’re letting go for the end reward. You’re instilling independence, courage and GRIT. You can do this Mom’s!

1. Clean their room. Like really clean their room. They can dust, vacuum and mop. They can even purge and organize. You will need to step up to the plate and not let anything less than what passes as “okay” to you fly. Will it look like Mom cleaned it? Nope. So go easy, it won’t be perfect. Figure out ahead of time what your standard is and stick to it. You will need a consistent, well thought out consequence for not meeting your standard. For example, our is, if your room is not clean (how mom likes it) by Friday at 5pm you cannot do anything with friends over the weekend. With this standard in place, they have all week to do it. Stay strong Moms, your home can be neat, organized and smell good. But you have to put in the work!

2. Wash AND put away the dishes. Your kids can do this. Start small and go up from there. LET THIS ONE GO! Save your back, sit at the table and relax for a bit. Allow your children the honor of serving you and your husband each morning or night. It will not kill them to do this for you. You are instilling life-long skills that their future spouse will appreciate. Especially you boy moms!

3. Do their own laundry. Yes, you heard that right. Kids can do their own laundry. This is not a job that comes with motherhood. You can teach your kids to wash, dry and put away their own clothes, towels and sheets. Assign each kid a laundry day. That’s the day they have to wash their clothes. Once they care about how they smell they will learn to do their laundry on their assigned day. They will not get all of the stains out; their clothes will not be folded like you fold them and they will not always have ironed shirts. They will survive and so will you! Again, their future spouse will LOVE you.

4. Make their own lunches. If this is wearing you out (and I know it is) then LET. IT. GO. They are perfectly capable of making their own lunch each and every day OR let them buy the cafeteria food. You can choose to control one or two meals a day and let this one go. Buy all the necessary foods and let them create a lunch that looks appetizing to them. Show them how to make a sandwich or a wrap. They will feel so proud of themselves and will most likely eat it instead of trashing it like they most likely do with the Pinterest worthy lunches you are spending precious time creating for them. Focus on breakfast and dinner. Or better yet, focus on a whole food, nutritious dinner for your family. Use that time and energy to make a beautiful, nutritious meal for your family that you can all enjoy together.

5. Cook a meal. This is a life skill that every kid should leave home with. Teach your kids how to use the stove, oven, toaster oven and blender. You will be amazed at what dishes they create without your oversight. Allow them to experiment and mess up. The world will not end. And they will learn how to clean up a mess - bonus lesson! This goes down as another skill that their future spouse will LOVE you for. And you’re gonna’ need all the brownie points you can get.